Ubiquityberry (03-27-2008)

I started a blog at Blogger because I changed email addresses and forgot my password at Wordpress. Most of the stuff I've written over the years is kind of dumb, but some of it might be worth preserving. I'm copying it over here so that when I forget my login info again, I can just copy it from this one place.

Naomi tells me of a bumper sticker she once saw.  It said something to the effect that if God didn’t want us to eat animals, He wouldn’t have wrapped them in meat.  I can appreciate that.  I like meat.

I’m also a bit squeamish, though, when it comes to blood and guts and killing things (unless they’re covered in pixelated polygons).  In a less sophisticated world, I would probably be a gatherer rather than a hunter…at least for a while until I built up a stronger tolerance for blood.

That being said, I guess I probably do like berries and nuts as much as the next guy (assuming the “next guy” likes berries and nuts about as much as I do), but I have to wonder why berries are such a staple to the marketing industry.

This isn’t a new trend.  I grew up with Booberry and Frankenberry cereals.  And, when the apocalypse wipes away civilization as we know it, I’m going to definitely plant some Crunch Berry bushes in the backyard.  Those were all sensible (and tasty) creations, but today, things are just getting plain silly.

We like Pop Tarts.  Our kids like Pop Tarts.  We buy our fair share of Pop Tarts, and we have tried many of the trendy, exotic flavors.  I would think SpongeBerries probably have a bizarre texture, but as long as they taste alright (apparently, much like strawberries), then I’m okay with them in my Pop Tarts.  ScoobyBerries, on the other hand, just sound disgusting, and have no place as part of my less than balanced breakfast.

In the name of catering to the whims of our kids, however, we have purchased many cartoon-induced “Berry” flavored foods along the way.  I’ve tried Ogreberry Gogurt during the Shrek III craze, and, yes, I’ve even been desperate enough to try the ScoobyBerry Pop Tarts. They, too, tasted like strawberries — the chicken{berry} of the berry world, I guess.

But as desperate as my food scrounging may get at times, I plan to forever steer clear of the Bikini Bottom Berry Gogurt in our fridge.  That just sounds unpleasant, and quite possibly contagious.